Resume

What's funny is that just when you think you have somewhat transformed into an ok, sort-of, human being, you're really not. You are letters on a paper that you created on your computer. That's it.

I'm sitting here wondering how I'm going to live my life comfortably and happily and it scares the shit out of me because I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. The easy route is conforming to a job that pays, but makes me absolutely miserable for eight hours. Sure, I'd have nicer things, but somehow, devoting eight hours of my day to something that doesn't make me fucking thrive makes me run a different direction.

I didn't really care for school. I finished it because it was something I was supposed to do, it was expected of me. School wasn't hard, what was hard was devoting time to it, because it didn't make me thrive and I didn't see the point. I never wanted to be something, I wanted to be SOMEONE.

So I'm here, sometimes late at night, trying to figure out who I'm trying to be in front of a computer screen again. Trying to make myself seem like I'm perfect to complete strangers. Trying to convince someone that I'm educated enough and worthy enough to work for them. Doing all the things I'm not interested in doing. I don't want a real job, I don't care to use my education towards a "real job". What the fuck is a real job anyway? It sounds like hell.

Because I turn 25 today.

Today marks my 25th birthday and I like to think that I have evolved into a solid human. 

Just kidding, I have no idea what a solid human being even means.

SIDE NOTE:

I wrote this on my birthday and never finished it, I thought it was hilarious.